Day: December 4, 2013

It seems like every year, the War on Christmas starts earlier and earlier. Why, the opening shots were fired in some stores on Thanksgiving itself, a full day ahead of its traditional start: Black Friday.

That’s why it’s good to see that the U.S. government is finally taking it seriously and not letting atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Jewish people and other non-Americans take our greatest non-football-related holiday away from us. While it’s no secret that NORAD — our missile defense headquarters — has tracked Santa’s movements since 1955, this year they revealed that they also provide fighter escorts while he’s in our air space — just like the President!

Continue reading Take it from Snee: Let’s win this one for the Santa

Hey there, people in committed relationships! Isn’t it wonderful to have found someone who finally appreciates you after possibly years of dating people who didn’t know a good thing when they had it?

… Yeah, about that. Research indicates that at least one of you in your relationship would rather settle than die alone — even if your current relationship isn’t that great — and it isn’t necessarily the woman.

‘In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single,’ said co-author Dr. Geoff MacDonald.

But, let’s not get too insulted. After all, you both chose to be disappointed by each other, not left for dead in a motel bathtub full of ice by someone else. See? You have more in common than ever.

As we all have heard on the internet by now, Amazon will soon be employing drones in order to deliver your package to you in the fastest way possible, cutting out the delivery courier business middleman.

NOW, it would seem that UPS is getting into the drone business, as it’s being reported that the United Parcel Service is experimenting with possibly using drones for deliveries.

You know who isn’t using drones? The USPS, the arm (finger?) of the United States government. Weird, right?

Another possible reason to stay out of the Midwest: pig farms are blowing up, and no one’s really sure why.

In recent years, hog farms have been exploding, and it’s related to foamy manure. Farmers started noticing that their hogs’ poop had a great deal of foam on it. Turns out, the foam contains methane and hydrogen sulfide, which are pretty flammable. This has left human scientists with two mysteries.

The first of which is why the pig manure is foaming in the first place, and why it’s only been happening in recent years. Some believe it’s caused by an enriched animal feed that has gained popularity, but tests aren’t conclusive.

The other, and more haunting question, is how do the sparks occur? If there’s no one around to set a fire, that must mean that, good god, the pigs have learned how to create fire.