Day: December 16, 2013

There’s something I just don’t trust about Christmas. I enjoy the time off being with my family and getting presents as much as anyone else, but there’s still something that’s off about the holiday. Christmas is an industry, and it’s so massive that it takes over other holidays. Sounds pretty shady to me.

The Christmas industry creates fervor over the newest toys, which is fine. Kids are greedy little jerks anyway, holiday or no. But it also creates pop culture designed to make us all feel warm and snugly. When it does this well, the effect can be amazing. But when it fails, it comes off looking like a cheap money grab. Christmas songs are a prime example of this.

Christmas songs are just all-around creepy, even your favorite. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Your favorite Christmas song sucks

In New Hampshire, there is currently an ad on Craigslist listing purebred unicorns for sale. While some people are having laughs at it, others are actually giving serious discussion to the listing. Allow me to be as frank and honest as possible about it: everything in the ad is a lie and a fabrication.

FACT: Unicorns do not lay eggs. They spawn via live-birth. Anyone who’s seen their children’s glitter-covered placenta would know this.

FACT: Unicorns are not hand fed from birth, as they don’t consume anything but sweet dreams, inspirational hopes and cookie dust.

FACT: The individuals involved are not the only NUBAA certified breeders. There are a pair in Pawtucket, Rhode Island and one in Los Angeles. There’s also a retired trainer in Warrenton, Virginia.

If you’re one of Her Majesty’s loyal subjects, and you’re coming down with some sort of bug, it’s your civic duty to tweet about it, and be as graphic as possible.

The U.K. Food Standards Agency has found that sifting through social media can help determine where spikes in illnesses, like the flu, are happening. This will allow officials to track such outbreaks faster than ever. And that’s why it’s relying on people to go to social media to report their symptoms.

Folks, this is why we fight socialized medicine here in the U.S.