Eat My Sports: Next Up

The big hoopla going around with almost everyone I know on social media has been that this week was the end of the nine-year run of “How I Met your Mother.” Let me preface all of this by saying that I really don’t care how he met his kids’ mother, I watched half of the first season, and while the show used to kill a half an hour before Monday Night Football after college, it didn’t fit my mold of necessary viewing. However, for those that did, they’re either wildly ticked off or just slightly disappointed in how the show ended. And for some, rightfully so, they’re depressed that the show is gone because they got to live their 20s and 30s with this group and could identify with the same life experiences. I get it, I felt the same way when “ALF” went off the air.

Now, some people, including someone who writes for The Guys, views the loss of “How I Met Your Mother” as something far more grave than that roughly a decade of your life has had a chapter end, for them it means the end of sitcoms that are worth watching. But for those who feel that way, there’s a debate against it. Chances are there is already a show on the air now that we will lament as the lost art of the sitcom when it goes off the air in a few years. Why? Because sometimes we don’t realize that greatness has been staring us in the eyes for a while until it’s about to go away. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Next Up

There aren’t even seven fruits and vegetables

In what must be an April Fools’ Day post, WebMD and other media sources are reporting that — get this — eating fruits and vegetables is the secret to cutting your risk of death. According to a study in England, people who ate seven or more servings of fruit or vegetables a day were 42 percent less likely to die than their peers in any age group.

We will, however by more mysteriously conical meat because the Mediterranean diet is in right now.
We will, however by more mysteriously conical meat because the Mediterranean diet is in right now.

Yeah, right, WebMD (if that really is your degree). We get that garlic cuts your risk of death by vampire by 100 percent, which cuts your risk of overall death by 0 percent.

But fruit? C’mon. That’s introducing risk, whether from slips and falls due to banana peels or from a watermelon growing inside of you because you accidentally swallowed a seed.

So nice try, but we’re not buying it.

Walmart: America’s Bar

No one that writes for this website would ever castigate someone for going on a bender. Leaving Las Vegas is a wonderful movie. Almost everything that the great Hunter S. Thompson wrote was done while he was on a bender of some sort. And to quote The Simpsons, “Boy, look, it’s Lee Marvin. He’s always drunk!”

That’s why we promise not to make fun of Elizabeth McGovern. According to New York state troopers, she was essentially on a 2 day bender in a Walmart … while using said Walmart to fuel said bender. We’re not bothered at all by it; in fact, we’re impressed.

Welcome to your new drunk royalty.

Sheep go after priceless artwork

The enemy is after mankind’s most precious works of art. It’s like The Monuments Men, only with sheep instead of Nazis.

Several sheep invaded the Louvre in Paris last week, using their shepherds as patsies. The shepherds claimed to be protesting agriculture policies in France, which could put them out of business. It’s not hard to see here that the more likely scenario is that the sheep seduced the farmers and convinced them that they had a reason for protest, so that the sheep could run amok.

Wake up, sheeple!