Day: April 3, 2014

This time the movie really is — as the old theme song promises — sensational, celebrational and Muppetational. That last part matters the most in Muppets Most Wanted. In 2011, the Muppets were successfully rebooted  but that hit movie was a bit heavy on the humans.

No worries about that with Muppets Most Wanted. This one continues the Muppet tradition of making the real co-stars up their funny to keep up with Jim Henson’s creations. The film’s slightly overplotted feel is offset by the zippiest musical numbers seen since 1979. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Muppets Most Wanted’

In the United States, snakes are nothing to us. Nothing. Sure, some might be poisonous, but ultimately, they’re a low priority in the war on animals.

We’ve clearly lost the land of Switzerland to the animals, as they can’t handle a single snake. A small snake managed to make its way into the ventilation shaft of a train in Switzerland, causing the entire train to have to be evacuated. No. That will not do. Toughen up Switzerland. That’s an order from the front lines.

Russian President and guy who always asks if you’re going to eat your meat before stealing your entire plate, Vladimir Putin is officially single. He and his now ex-wife, Lyudmila, finalized their divorce according to a Kremlin announcement on Tuesday.

When announcing their separation back in June, Putin stressed that their decision to split was a mutual decision, much in the same way that Putin stresses that it’s a mutual decision to annex parts of other countries.

Based on the timing — coinciding with the ongoing crisis in Crimea — it’s possible that Putin needed to get himself out there on a pick-up date with one of Russia’s exes before he felt ready to see other countries.

If that’s the case, then we may finally understand what Sarah Palin warned us about: Putin rearing his head.

Maybe you’ve heard about this Obamacare thing. What you may not know is that covers sexy talk on the phone.

California’s health care exchange, called “Cover California,” had a lot of people rushing to sign up before the deadline a few days ago. The hearing impaired were given a number to help them sign up. It was one digit off.

After dialing, people were greeted with the following message:

Welcome to America’s hottest talk line. Ladies, to talk to interesting and exciting guys free, press one now. Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you. Press two to connect free now.

When it comes to medicine, sometimes the old ways are the best. Health thyself.