You Missed It: Husky size edition

Chaos rules the campus after the UConn women's basketball victory.
Chaos rules the campus after the UConn women’s victory.

I want to form my own rock ‘n roll hall of fame. Anyone can do it, if they have the money. You just get a bunch of your music loving friends together, declare yourselves an authority, and bands will just show up to play for you. You don’t need to oversee modern music, nor do you need to root out doping. It’s not like musicians around the collectively said they want their names to be immortalized in the armpit of Ohio. Someone one day said that they were going to be the master of music and everyone went along with it. If you were busy being named as David Letterman’s heir this week, odds are you missed it.

March Mental Illness comes to an end
This week, the University of Connecticut women’s basketball team one the NCAA tournament, and just days later, their male counterparts did the same thing. So of course, the school rioted. This year’s men’s tournament made everyone think the same three things: 1) You are stupid for filling out a bracket every year, 2) those entitled jerks from Connecticut will be insufferable, 3) at least it wasn’t Duke.

Seven decades is a pretty good run
Fans of the iconic Archie comic book character, at least the five still living, were up in arms this week when it was announced that the title character will bite the big one in an upcoming issue of “Life with Archie.” This is apparently a different universe from the original Archie series, so the ginger will live on in other books. How will Archie die? Defeated at the hands of his enemy, Doomsday.

Internet insecurity
The internet got quite a security scare when it was revealed that a major security flaw found on servers of major websites running outdated firmware, called Heartbleed. This caused pretty much everyone to change their passwords, and high school bands to change their name.

Getting juiced up in Tennessee

They used to strap criminals into wooden chairs, then high amounts of electricity through their bodies until they were dead. Those were the good old day, weren’t they? Well happy days are coming back soon, Tennessee is working to jolt the electric chair back to the forefront.

State lawmakers want to reinstate Thomas Edison’s favorite form of execution for inmates on death row, should the drugs used for lethal injections become scarce. Bills in both the Tennessee House and Senate want to see inmates ride the lightning once again.

So … that just happened

People without vaginas, behold! Science has grown you one in a petri dish ice tray.

Finally, a six-pack that trumps the other two kinds.
Finally, a six-pack that trumps the other two kinds.

Well, that’s about all we needed, scientists. Thanks for all the hard work and what diseases you managed to cure in the time between the inventions of writing and math and us not caring about what happens outside of our dish.

Good job, everyone. Home run. In a dish.