Eat My Sports: Playoffs?

The NBA regular season has dwindled down to its last few games and once again the Western Conference will field a team that won nearly 50 games, and have them not make the playoffs. Meanwhile, the NCAA Division .5A, otherwise known as the Eastern Conference will have a team that finished at .500 or below make the playoffs for the seventh consecutive year.

The balance of power between the two conferences has been uneven pretty much since Michael Jordan’s Bulls finished their second threepeat in 1998. And this year has brought about the topic that the NBA and their new commissioner seriously needs to consider, playoff realignment. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Playoffs?

Chuck E. Cheese: Where a norovirus kid can be a norovirus kid

‘Twas not the adult violence that cleared out the children’s play hut that night. The culprit was: norovirus.

This time, while emergency services were again called to a Chuck E. Cheese, this time in the Minnesota district, it was not the police that were needed, but the EMT’s. Nearly 20 people were sent to the hospital with stomach flu symptoms after consuming the restaurant’s food. Investigators claim to have ruled out the virus originating due to food contamination, instead blaming the outbreak on your grubby, horrible, disgusting children.

A chest as greasy as your face

Finally: a corsage that you either put around her wrist or her waist.
Finally: a corsage that you either put around her wrist or her waist.

Hey, speaking of prom and the crass, mini-marriage racket it’s become: have you ordered a corsage yet? Of course not — flowers are stupid, don’t smell like Axe and, besides, you already spent all your money on hiring male strippers for your prom-posal.

Fortunately, the minds that brought you the Double-Down and not having to say “Kentucky Fried Chicken” at 3 A.M. have struck breaded and fried gold once again. They’ve partnered with an actual g*ddamn florist to create a corsage featuring a fried drumstick.

And if your date won’t kiss you by the end of the night, at least you’ve got the dog’s attention.

US Airways: Here’s where you can stick your complaint

We’re willing to guess that the people who work at airport ticket counters and gates are some of the least happy people who have a job. Then there are the people who work the social media accounts of airlines. If upset passengers are rude in public, they are sure no kinder in the anonymous rage factory that is the internet. At some point, you’re going to snap, and that may have happened yesterday when US Airways tweeted a sexually explicit image to a customer (image-free and SFW).

When some girl named Alex tweeted at that it ruined her spring break, the airline replied, “We don’t like to hear this, Alex. Please provide feedback to our Customer Relations team here: [link to photo].” The very-NSFW image, which you can find for yourself if you really want, involved a nude woman and a model Boeing 777 jet that appeared to have crashed up to its wings in a cave.

The merger with American Airlines really has benefited consumers after all.