Day: April 22, 2014

This past weekend marked the beginning of the most unnecessarily long event in sports, the NBA playoffs. The start used to be tagged with a “40 Games In 40 Nights” promo that TNT and TBS used to run, but we’re figuring that either religious groups came after them or Jesus has a really old trademark.

Anywho, so, yes, the NBA playoffs begin in mid-April, and guess when they end? The end of June. It just goes on and on and on. The re-formatted first round actually added an additional two games to the first round a few years ago, so even when this thing was running long, the NBA decided to squeeze more cash out of arguably the third most popular sport in the USA by adding another two games to the postseason. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Playooooooooooooooooooooffs

The initiative, already active across Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, would look to branch out to other social media where jihadists were active. “What about Ask.fm? What about Instagram? What about Pinterest?”

You’d think that jihadists, if they’re really attempting to hide information from U.S. analysts, would take their online conversations to Friendster.

We came this close — this close (imagine, if you will, our fingers pressed firmly together as if holding Tang mix) — to holding some stir-crazy parties. For about five minutes, the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau approved Palcohol, the first (that we know of) line powdered drink mix that makes several types of alcohol when added to water.

And then they saw the error of their ways and quickly unapproved it.

We almost lived in a world were we could inhale booze and not drown. A world where we make booze castles and then weep into them when the tide comes in, not because we lost our secret fortresses and the action figures we left inside, but because it still hurts sometimes when we think back to how wonderful that one relationship was before it went sour … sorry, Palcohol in our eyes.

But, no! It was too beautiful to happen, and like sands at the top of a glass that you tried to mix with a spoon, these are but the days of our lives at the whims of the government.

Thanks, Obama.

A year ago, Boston Bruins fans came together in the aftermath of the marathon bombing and sang the National Anthem as a group. This Easter, they booed Jesus.

During the first period of Game 2 between the Bruins and the Detroit Red Wings, a guy in the stands dressed as Jesus was spotted and put on the jumbotron. He blessed the crowd and everyone was happy. Just one period later, the Son of Man himself was escorted out by security, and boos followed him as he went.

Bruins fans know not what they do.