Day: April 23, 2014

Dieting is not an uncommon topic for this column, mostly because (a) there’s so much bad information masquerading as well-meaning science, and (b) I’m a vain little queen who’s obsessed with my own body image.

So, I figured I’d share the entire process of dieting with you so that we can all eat a little better and look better, too.

Step 1: Eat less sh*t.

Step 2: Replace sh*t with non-sh*t.

Step 3: Shut up.

Seems simple, right? Here’s how it really works …  Continue reading Take it from Snee: How to diet

The former mayor of Hollywood Park, Bill Bohlke, was found dead last year. Despite the death being ruled as accidental, his family is having none of it. We assume this is because the investigators decided that he was attacked by a mule, giving him an ignominious death by an ignominious animal.

As such, the family petitioned to have his body exhumed and have another investigation be undertaken.Their claim is that they want justice.

SeriouslyGuys means no disrespect to the Bohlke family, but here’s what our Seriously Investigators suspect is what they’ll find: Bill Bohlke will have become a Dracula, thus turning the city of Hollywood Park into a ghost town full of the bloodsucking undead. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

The Guys like to think of ourselves as debonair masters of seduction. Which is why we’re kind of surprised that our sexy voices don’t work. That’s according to some alleged research by psychologists at Albright College.

In the experiment, 20 men and 20 women tried their sexy voices — you know: deeper, smokier, less-Jerry Lewis-y (but not by that much) — on an audience of 40 people. And, according to those 40 people, men just couldn’t summon sexy if sexy were a rabid dingo and they were wearing a suit made of babies. “In fact,” said study author Susan Hughes, “although not significantly, it got a bit worse when men tried to sound sexy.”

But, we’re not feeling daunted. Perhaps it works for The Guys because we’re too sexy looking, so using ineffectual sexy talk makes us more accessible, sort of like Anne Hathaway’s … everything.

It seems that behaving badly on Easter isn’t just a thing in Boston, they do it in Tennessee, too.

After a church service celebrating what is one of the holiest of Christian holidays (right up there with Christmas in July), a man made some derisive comments about his wife’s driving abilities. So she decided to prove her skills — by trying to run him over in the church parking lot.

Sure, she may have gotten arrested, but she proved her point.