Day: July 7, 2014

God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates robots. Robots destroy man. It’s the shadow of a dark future looming over our heads. All the time we are building smarter and more automated machines, on top of this, we’re teaching them things about ourselves, so it stands to reason they will get tired or reading our whiny Facebook posts, snap, and kill us all.

One day, when our robot masters decide to write history e-books, they will show that the beginning of the end of mankind occurred during the 2014 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, of all places. There aren’t any robot baseball players, that would actually be kind of cool. Actually, it’s the dawn of the automated bartender.

Unsurprisingly, the end of humanity is brought to you by Bud Light. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Beer vending machines signal end of humanity

We’ve said it before, but let us say it again: macroeconomics and the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life visiting our planet do not mix.

And yet this old adage didn’t stop Indian finance minister, Arun Jaitley, from interrupting his usual Facebook posts about the current state and future of India’s rail fares and fuel prices with a quick celebration of World UFO Day.

The truth was only out there briefly before fans of the page took Minister Jaitley to task, and his staff removed the post.

Who would have thought that armchair economists prefer their stuffy Internet- browsing devoid of interest? (We did.)

The Jewish people have really been through a lot over the course of time. Between the Holocaust, that whole Palestine thing and Mel Gibson, it just ain’t easy. And the whole kosher food thing isn’t exactly making life easier. To be quite frank, unkosher food is delicious, especially pork. And when the pork has been turned into the sublime state of barbecue, it’s a taste nirvana. Such a tease!

But it’s a tease for no longer! Rabbi Mendel Segal may just become the greatest mensch of all time. The good Rabbi has slowly but surely been creating kosher-friendly barbecue. And he’s got the process locked down. Kosher brisket, chicken, turkey are done by him, pork is touched by a Christian teammate of his. Separate items are kept separate. Such a deal!

But the real question: kosher sauce or kosher rub?

In 2003, Brazil realized that its soccer fans were getting a bit too drunk and rowdy during matches, so it banned the sale of alcohol in “football” stadiums. (It would make more sense to ban soccer, but whatever.) But FIFA made Brazil end their prohibition for the World Cup.

Now, FIFA officials are surprised at how much drunkenness is going on. FIFA’s Jerome Valcke, whom we’re told is a high-ranking official, said during an interview that there may be too many drunk people at the matches, and that could lead to hooliganism.

This makes no sense to The Guys. Isn’t the point of watching sports, especially boring ones, to drink beer?