Day: July 24, 2014

Curiosity: have we been secretly asleep for the past month? That’s the only reason for why there’s been so much crime involving donuts. First, “scientists” decide to give bears donuts and now, true brigands have begun using the delectable breakfast pastry for crimes. Crimes!

That’s right, in the great hippie state of Oregon, a group of knaves have been hitting numerous cars with all manner of donut: maple bar, cinnamon, maybe even a glazed!

If we may address these thugs of food: we understand that using food to commit your vandalism seems like a good idea. It’s difficult to remove and easy to obtain. Nonetheless, we must ask you, please, please spare the donut. If not for me, then for our stomach’s sake.

If you live in France, and if you’re a regular reader of this blog then it’s almost certain you don’t, keep your ears open this evening. There’s a fart heading your way from England.

British inventor and guy with a lot of free time Colin Furze has built valveless jet engine that kind of sounds like a big fart when it gets fired up (the jet, not the fart). Naturally he has also built a butt to put over it. Tomorrow, between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. Eastern, Furze is going to take his jet fart machine to the cliffs of Dover and see if the French 21 miles away can hear it.

They won’t, of course. But that doesn’t mean their military isn’t on high alert anyway.