You Missed It: FIght night edition

Careful, Orlando! He's got eggs!
Careful, Orlando! He’s got eggs!

I’m calling it: this summer sucks. Sure, it’s just barely turned August, but for the most part, the best part of the summer had passed us by. What do we have to show for it? The box office sucked (two Hercules movies?), few movies have lived up to their hype, the biggest album of the summer was released by “Weird” Al Yankovic, and we haven’t even had any good natural disasters. Plus, you know, everything’s blowing up overseas. If you were busy getting caught in a sharknado this week, odds are you missed it.

Bloom-Bieber I
This week, a blazing hot feud boiled over against the backdrop of a fiery Spanish night club. It’s bad blood that’s got a long history, and we finally got to see it become more than a war of words, it was … Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber? An onlooker’s video shows the two having words before Bloom goes to punch or slap Biebs, only to get blocked by a bodyguard. No one’s quite sure what the whole thing was about, but the world quickly condemned Bieber for making them support Orlando Bloom in anything.

CIA culpa
Central Intelligence Agency Director John Brennan apologized to senators during a hearing for hacking into lawmakers’ computers to monitor and remove files on their investigation into CIA’s torturing of terrorists. He said he was sorry and embarrassed that the hackers had gone that far, adding, “But it’s still cool if we do that to ordinary Americans every day, right?”

Madhouse for sale
It was announced this week that Michael Jackson’s estate will have to sell the singer’s iconic Neverland Ranch because of soaring debt. The complex requires a lot of upkeep, and it’s just too expensive for a dead guy to pay for, even if he did make millions last year. The place has 22 buildings in all, and they say that late at night you can still hear ghost of Bobo shuffling down the hallways.

When soliciting sex, try not to call a police officer

Cold calls are dreadful. People hate getting them, and the people making the calls don’t like it that much either, but it drums up business. So it works for the most part, provided that you’re not doing anything illegal, and you don’t say, call a cop.

A Maryland woman learned that lesson this week. Police say a member of Frederick Police Department’s Drug Enforcement Unit received a call from the 44-year-old woman offering money for sex. She didn’t dial a random number, she had the officer’s number from an unrelated incident, and apparently forgot to write down “Cop” next to it.

And of course, when the woman arrived at the agreed upon place, the authorities were waiting. This is exactly what the Do Not Call List is for, people.

Warrior of the Week: Tradd Cotter

Over the past two decades or so, fire ants have climbed up the charts as one of the newest but most potent threats to mankind. They’re vicious, tenacious, thrive almost everywhere and don’t take no for an answer. They’re basically the Ben Roethlisberger of the animal kingdom (sorry, we had to see if Bryan Schools was awake).

But one valiant man is trying to turn the tables.

Tradd Cotter, a scientist out of Liberty, South Carolina, has begun using a specific mushroom spore that’s fatal to the red menace of the 90’s. Not only that, but consumption of the mushroom is totally safe to humans. Sooner, rather than later, Cotter expects the mushroom to be sold everywhere as a cost-effective ant-killer. Mind you, this is essentially how The Last of Us begins, but, hey, at least we get to look gruff and cool even if we haven’t showered in months.