Day: August 19, 2014

Eat My Sports: Manziel, number one

Easily the most polarizing figure in sports aside from one LeBron James, Johnn Manziel has been captivating, frustrating and entertaining. Last night he was in Washington D.C. to let everyone know he had arrived.

Now, aside from a few minor snafus, Manziel has largely kept quiet, okay, maybe just quiet on the field. But with one gesture towards the Redskins sideline last night, Manziel lit an even bigger fire under his own media storm. Yes, Manziel flipped the bird to the Redskins, saying that he’s been having to listen to defenders talk him up and down for weeks.

This kid is going to fail fantastically. If Manziel can’t handle the pressure of a game and a half of talking from the likes of the Redskins’ and Lions’ defense, then the talk of his maturity and why so many teams passed over him before the Browns traded back up to pick him, were right. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Manziel, number one

A deep breath that will actually relax you

Now you can drink OR huff booze from a paper bag.
Now you can drink OR huff booze from a paper bag.

Oh look, inhaling alcohol is back. But we won’t be swayed this time, we’ve had our hearts broken before, and there’s no doubt this will leave us, too. (We miss you, Palcohol!)

Try not to get too excited about the Vapshot. It turns the liquor of your choice into a vapor you can inhale, rather than drink. Why would you do such a thing? Because inhaling booze is a quicker and more efficient way to get the medicine into your system (the IV is still tops, but hasn’t really caught on in bars). So rather than doing a shot and waiting for it to get digested, you feel the effects immediately.

And because your lungs have been dying for abuse since you quit smoking.

Egypt unleashes new caustic weapons on U.S.

"As you can clearly see, President Obama, I am rubber. And the U.N. has declared that you are, in fact, glue."
“As you can clearly see, President Obama, I am rubber. And the U.N. has declared that you are, in fact, glue.”

Just when the world thought we could rule out Egypt from starting sh*t with the U.S., their Foreign Ministry dropped what may be the nation’s first snark bomb. They urged U.S. security forces in Ferguson, Mo. to “exercise restraint” in dealing with protests after local police reportedly shot an unarmed Michael Brown six times, twice in the head.

U.S. State Department officials are examining Egypt’s weapon of farcical intent to determine the severity of their sarcasm. This investigation includes learning whether the bomb-maker simply read the U.S. government’s 2013 warning to President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi in a whiny voice and if there are any hidden implications about our moms.