Florida just got a lot more scarier.
This past weekend, over just the course of Saturday and Sunday, New Smyrna Beach saw 406 jellyfish stings. That’s not just scary, that’s terrifying.
People, the animals are clearly mobilizing their forces. When over 400 people get injured over just two days, that’s not a random bit of chance, that’s planning. There’s only one thing we can do: get a ton of napalm, coat the water with it and set the sea aflame.
Austrian politics aren’t like American politics. They’re just not.
The country’s Socialist party put up garden gnomes that look like they want a fist bump around lamp posts ahead of elections in western Austria. These things also look to me about two and a half feet tall, just to add extra creepiness. And then, someone stole them.
A total of 400 gnomes, valued at $4,000 combined, have been stolen. Either that, or they came to live and walked away.
