Given its title, you can be forgiven for assuming that director Adam Wingard’s home-invasion thriller will be just another blood-soaked body-count flick. But You’re Next is better than that.
A lot better. Despite its dumb name. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘You’re Next’
Do you hear that, animals? That is the sound of the tide roaring! When but one of our human children, barely a stripling, but a mighty lad Adam Satter be, has conquered, tame and taken one of your mightiest warriors, know that your days are numbered!
When animals declared war on humans (they started it, not us), we knew that meant war with all animals. Even alliances with pets are only temporary until all the lions and whatever makes toilet water delicious are gone.
So, it’s no surprise to The Guys that cockatoos — parrots for people who love cleaning up after sass-talking birds but don’t want colorful feathers out of the deal — are not only using tools, but have set up cockatoo terrorist training camps to radicalize vulnerable, isolated birds.
It’s time to write off the cockatoo, folks. Remember: one cockatoo is two too many.
Just a day after we told you that there are radioactive boars in Germany, we have even more shocking animals news, and this time it affects Oktoberfest.
In Munich, a cow somehow escaped from the slaughterhouse and went on a rampage. First, it gored a jogger, sending her to the hospital. But more importantly, the cow then ran toward a field where workers were setting up tents for the Oktoberfest beer festival, which is just weeks away.
The beast was heading straight toward a worked, when it was blocked by a police vehicle that arrived just in time. Efforts to recapture the cow were unsuccessful, so authorities put it down the old-fashioned way. Because nobody messes with Oktoberfest.
