The McBournie Minute: Old man Gene Simmons complains about music these days

Everyone’s rightfully admonishing Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens and the NFL since the new video leaked. I don’t have anything new to add to that. If you weren’t outraged when the news broke in March, or when the first video leaked days later, or when the NFL gave him just a two-game suspension, or all of the victim-blaming in major sports media, if it took today’s video to finally spark your rage, there are many other outlets you can turn to today.

Here, we’re going to talk about another, if less significant happening. Gene Simmons is known as the outspoken bassist from Kiss, one of those 70s bands that people just can’t seem to get over. You know him because he’s everywhere. If you have a microphone, he’ll stop by and say a few words about himself. In an Esquire interview published last week, Simmons said that rock ‘n roll is dead.

Dr. Love has pronounced it dead, so pack it up, everyone. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Old man Gene Simmons complains about music these days

I’ve got a bloated ticket!

Olive Garden would have gone full Wonka and printed winning tickets on the bottom of random "bottomless" bowls, but then all the winners would look like the guy punished for gluttony in Se7en.
Olive Garden would have gone full Wonka and printed winning tickets on the bottom of random “bottomless” bowls, but then all the winners would look like the guy punished for gluttony in Se7en.

In less than three hours, you may be one of 1000 lucky souls to buy seven weeks of all-you-can-eat pasta for just $99. Sounds too good to be true? That’s because it’s unlimited Olive Garden food. [Cue audio of Satan cackling.]

The rest of us unlucky remainders will only be able to eat from the Neverending Pasta Trough for $10 a pop.

So if you love pasta, but not enough to find pasta that doesn’t give you the runs, go to Olive Garden’s web site to try your luck against the hordes of others on a seven-week dietary cheat.

Saying ‘Shell-no!’ to shellfish

Nature sent their latest crustacean warriors at us recently and we found them wanting.

Their first pair of warriors may have been a miscalculation on their part. In Maine, a duo of fishermen dredged up two albino lobsters (warning: autoplay). Their uncolored, all-honkey nature makes them poor warriors and even worse spies, though what’s truly scarier is the news that we’ll have to break to Joe Bates:

“He’s a survivor and he’s one of a kind, and I mean that in a good way,” said Bates.

Then, in Florida, a man caught a shrimp estimated to be a foot and a half long! Not out in the deep sea, but at a dock! The crustacean was this close to striking land! And then, the man that found it, Steve Bargeron, made the worst mistake of his life. Unlike the fishermen in Maine, who dropped off the albino lobsters at a top-flight research facility, Bargeron, after taking pictures of the monster shrimp, threw it back into the water. WHAT?! How can we study our enemy when pity is taken upon them? For shame, sir. For shame.