While Apple has delivered tools to improve our work efficiency and ability to browse pornography in the bathroom, that convenience can also create problems. Fortunately, “lifehackers” are here to solve the downsides to being bored, middle class and adverse to going to a store to see how big things are before buying them.

Take, for instance, the new iPhones 6 and 6-Plus. Because they’re not in stores yet, how are we supposed to know which model will fit our pants?

You could print out paper models or test pocket the Motorola Moto X and Samsung Galaxy Note 3, as c|net helpfully suggests.

Or, you can save time by using The Guys method for sizing your next iPhone: look at your pants. Are the pockets roughly the same size as they’ve always been? Did you recently switch to wearing only breeches, or are you suddenly wearing billowy diapers under them? Can you feel how your current phone fits in there?

Then you should know if 5 inches of phone will fit inside your pants or not.

You can thank us by using your newly freed up time to find real problems to solve.

You probably haven’t seen one of Gerard Depardieu’s movies in a while. That’s partly because most of them are in French, and screw that, but it’s also because he’s drunk and doesn’t care what you think.

In a recent interview, the French actor said he drinks up to 14 bottles of wine per day, and often throws in some beer, vodka or whisky for good measure. He starts drinking at 10 a.m., which means every day is Sunday Funday at l’Chateau Depardieu.

He has also killed a couple lions, which is better than anything you’ve done sloshed.

Jellyfish are the worst. As Nelson Muntz would point out, there are at least two things wrong with that name: they’re neither jelly, nor fish. Here’s what they are: a floating, dangerous nuisance in our waters.

And apparently worth a fair amount of lookdown fish. Aquariums use their own subjects as a source of currency, trading one animal for another. Puffins are like Ozzie Smith cards, snipefish are like Bobby Bonilla and jellyfish are akin to Tony Gwynn.

We still don’t know what a lookdown fish is, but with a name like that, it can only be disappointing.