The McBournie Minute: You’re voting for jerks

America is a big country. We’re spread across the entire width of a continent. We live in different areas, we have different jobs, we eat different foods and we have different priorities. We’re pretty diverse, when it comes down to it.

But we’re all Americans, and we all believe that means something. That’s why we care so much about the state of our country. We believe we each know what is best for the entire nation, and we seek to put people in federal office that will shape the U.S. the way we want it to be shaped. It’s just frustrating that the people everyone else votes for are assholes.

Our mutual hatred of the people we elect may be the only thing that keeps Americans together, if you believe a new study. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: You’re voting for jerks

For the worker who can’t find new ways to demean themselves

Your move, people sitting on ab balls.
Your move, people sitting on ab balls.

Do you ever worry that you haven’t sacrificed enough at work? To date, the average American office worker has forsaken

  • Salaries that rise to match inflation and higher costs of living.
  • Pensions.
  • Evenings and weekends free from phone call and emails.
  • Offices.
  • All physical activity.

But, what if we told you that you could get back that last item — physical activity — and all you’d have to trade is in the only thing you have left: dignity?

Introducing: the Hamster Wheel Standing Desk. It’s a hamster wheel that you stand in while working at your standing desk. (Cedar chips that eliminate loss of productivity due to leaving your desk to go to the restroom sold separately.)

Colorado pizza sales are Rocky Mountain high

Peyton Manning just says what we’ve all been thinking.

The Denver Broncos quarterback used to do commercials that were genuinely funny. Now he does pizza commercials with the guy who doesn’t want to give his employees health care. The good news, Manning said, is that pizza sales are doing well in Colorado, and that could be because marijuana has been de-criminalized out there.

Of course, those fans would get a six-game suspension if they played in the NFL.

So, we’ll chalk that up to a case of ‘whoops’?

For those that work in medical facilities, it’s important that you’re in good shape. Granted, that’s far easier said than done when you’re near constantly exposed to infirmities of all types, so it’s understood if perhaps you have a case of the sniffles when you go to work. As long as you’re not super sick and you properly prep yourself for exposure, everything will be okay.

But if you’ve got a case of tuberculosis, and you go to work at a hospital, welllllllll, things are just a little bit different then. Especially if you manage to expose around 740 people to contracting TB.