Day: September 23, 2014

So, as I let you guys know a few weeks ago, any day now I am expecting to have the first offspring of mine delivered into the world. It’s terrifying, especially since my wife and I will be having two, but equally as terrifying trying to figure out how to raise my kids as Red Sox and Steelers fans.

Why are those two important? Well, as a Knicks fan in basketball, and that being my third favorite sport, it wouldn’t crush me if they ended up Pacers, Bulls or Lakers fans. The Knicks suck, and I acknowledge this. And while I am a Rangers fan in hockey, let me put it lightly in guessing that the last hockey game I watched was somewhere circa 2008.

I was not raised in sports fandom. My Dad never cared about pro sports and my Mom’s side of the family were always passive fans, and that led me to find my passion for the MLB and NFL all on my own. That being said, I’d like to establish some fan lineage in the Schools line, in order to all root for the same teams and have something in common. This is a lot easier now, because when I grew up, being a Red Sox fan meant a lifetime of pain. Now, it means expecting a parade, it doesn’t make sense to me either.

Anywho, I’ve established the beginnings of my kids and I having a bond by getting them Steelers and Red Sox baby clothing, pacifiers and bottles. This means when these kids see photos of them starting at a young age, they will have it instilled in their mind that this is what they were born to be, fans of these franchises. And if they’re not, well, we’ll have to figure out something else to bond over, just hopefully not the ravens or New York Yankees …

We’ve got bad news, we’ve got good news, and we’ve got bad news.

Bad news: There is a fish in the Antarctic that has stuff in its blood that acts like antifreeze.

Good news: That stuff isn’t as powerful as we once thought, and the fish still have ice crystals in their blood when things warm up in the summer months.

Bad news: That means that there are fish that have ice in their veins.

In America, we distrust anyone claiming to know the future: climate scientists, weather forecasters, people using math to predict election results, our parents and their dating advice. And in politics? Forget those wackos. It was only because we kind of liked Ronald Reagan, that we could laugh off his regular consultations with psychics.

In Thailand, however, this is not the case at all.

Responding to a series of ongoing investigations,  Thai Prime Minister General Prayuth Chan-ocha admitted to reporters that, yeah, he goes to fortune tellers, big deal, want to fight about it? He also admitted to dousing his entire body in holy water to ward off the curses of enemies, so try something! C’mon, bro!

And just in case you’re thinking that Thailand is run by a maniac just because he took over the government in a coup in 2006, you’re only half right. His democratically-elected predecessor did it, too.

See, fundamentalists? This is why prayer at government events looks stupid to everyone else.

Ray Rice, over the past few weeks, has become the new face of domestic violence. Hitting his wife is an unconscionable act. Covering up the act, which a report from this weekend alleges the Baltimore Ravens (Rice’s former employers) did, is almost as unconscionable.

So of course it makes sense that this past weekend, the organization held a jersey exchange, where owners of Ray Rice Ravens’ jerseys could exchange them for jerseys of other Ravens’ players, but ran out of jerseys and had to hand out vouchers.

Here’s the context: the Ravens had 5,595 jerseys of other players on hand. They still had to hand out 2400 vouchers for exchanges because they ran out. Who would’ve thought that so many people wouldn’t want to associate themselves with a domestic abuser?