Take it from Snee: So many angry jerks in the air

Anyone who’s traveled by air in the United States has noticed that things are getting a bit, well, testy in what was once “the friendly skies.”

"Alright, but I'm not cleanin' up after him."
“Alright, but I’m not cleanin’ up after him.”

Fights have erupted over the sovereignty of our limited leg space and how recliners violate the sanctity of our paid-for borders. People have struck other people’s children for being children. And then there are you common wig-outs, which can happen anywhere, but in the air are met with swift Marshal-dispensed justice.

So, it was only a matter of time before even the perverts in coach starting furiously masturbating like they paid for a first class ticket.

And, even then, that's not without a lot of mood setting and ritual.
And, even then, that’s not without a lot of mood setting and ritual.

This raises two questions …  Continue reading Take it from Snee: So many angry jerks in the air

Kansas prepares to make October 31st a horrifying day in their history

In the war against the dead, the state of Kansas has decided to be ready. Now. Well, more like next month.

Later this week, Governor Sam Brownback will sign a proclamation that allows zombie designation and announce October as “Zombie Preparedness Month.” The state’s Department of Emergency Preparedness says that zombie apocalypse prep is just the same as any other emergency prep, thus managing to eliminate any fun and specialness that the governor has created.

That said, while we at SG advocate zombie preparedness, we also are aware that the end of October is Halloween, a wonderful event that typically involves people dressing up as all manner of things, many of which are zombies. We eagerly look forward to news stories on November 1st reporting on massive accidental slaughters of innocents all across the state.

Double porno! What does it even mean?!

"Oh, we don't work for tips, ma'am ... No, really. We're not allowed to accept cash for doing our jobs."
“Oh, we don’t work for tips, ma’am …. No, really. We’re not allowed to accept cash for doing our job.”

Do not close this browser! What you are seeing is safe for work and merely two police officers delivering a pizza, not the most elaborately nested pornographic setup in history.

The two Portland Police officers, Michael Filbert and Royce Curtiss, responded to an auto collision involving a Pizza Hut delivery driver. Once their accident investigation was over, the two officers did both driver and family waiting for their dinner a solid by delivering the pizza.

The Portland Police Bureau refused to specify whether the pizza came with bacon.