Day: September 30, 2014

One of the biggest problems with maintaining an online presence is making sure everyone knows you’re a good person. It’s why we only post flattering pictures and have to apologize immediately on the nearest late night couch when we fumble a joke.

So, when you do something grand and unexpectedly nice (for instance, leaving an overworked waiter a $100 tip despite lousy service), what’s the best way to make sure everyone knows about it?

You could wait to see if the waiter posts it up on his blog/Facebook/shrine to nice people in their bedroom closet. Or,  you can follow Makenzie Schultz’s example and post it yourself, the very same day, receipt and all.

And presto: you’re now recognized by your peers as a terrific human being and role model. Or put on ignore. Same difference — heroes aren’t always recognized in their own lifetimes or social media feeds.

A whole bunch of dead sharks, emphasis on dead, just happened to show up on a beach in North Carolina.

As such, we at SG would like to exercise our right to the fifth amendment. Along with that, we’d like to exercise the seventeenth, twenty-first and twenty-seventh amendments, just in case.

Any questions can be directed to our attorney, Johnny Tightlips.

Hey, you know how early adopters of the iPhone 6 Plus are complaining that their phones are bending in their pockets? One man has the answer for this tragedy, and it should come as no surprise that that man is a psychic.

Rather than blame poor engineering or fat legs, Uri Geller says it’s “mental forces” that are causing it. Geller went on to ask Apple to hire him as a spokesman to deal with this crisis. He would explain that the company is not to blame for the flaw.

Because nothing calms nervous shareholders like hiring a psychic.