Day: October 9, 2014

Just consider the premise of Bad Johnson: a compulsive womanizer ruins one too many relationships, and briefly wishes he could be free of his anatomical troublemaker. Next thing you know, his penis has detached itself. It’s taken human form and is running around the city with all the uncontrolled id one might anticipate.

Now imagine what can go wrong with a film like that. And woof, there are many things. So, to fight that, you cast hilarious comedian Nick Thune in a very key role in the movie. That should make sure things are a-ok, right?

Ehhhhhhhhh … Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Bad Johnson’

You know, we probably don’t give enough credit to ants. Oh, sure, they’re incredibly easy to kill. Crush them, smoosh them, they’re nothing to us. Except, there’s never just one ant, there’s always at least two around. Ants are quite literally quantity over quality.

That’s why Dan Garza might be more of a hero than we think. The California Highway Patrol officer was just doing his job when he answered a call on an interstate. A traveler asked him for a little help with a blown-out tire, there was nothing to it. And then the ants struck.

While kneeling, the motorist had been bitten a ton of times by fire ants, and as such, had an allergic reaction. Garza proceeded to keep the motorist alive with a oxygen mask until paramedics came by. The officer is now being honored for saving the man’s life. Presumably he’ll also be honored for eradicating the insectoid offenders.

It’s just bad news after bad news for this one. Prepare yourselves, everyone.

Bad news: Studies have found that at least two species of animals can learn each other’s languages.

Worse news: The orca (you know, killer whales) can understand and speak the language of bottlenose dolphins.

The worst news: These bilingual monsters are captive, which means they have access to humans. And that means they could learn our languages, too.