Day: October 14, 2014

This past weekend, numerous calls in the San Joaquin Valley area were placed with emergency services, not because of an Ebola outbreak, but for a potentially more insidious outbreak: people dressed as clowns at night holding firearms or sharp objects.

It’s theorized that the outbreak is not necessarily a string of people coming up with the same original idea at the same time, but actually a copycat outbreak of clowns, with horror clown patient zero being the “Wasco Clown,” the Instagram account of someone with serious social interaction issues.

However, what’s not confirmed is that the aliens aren’t space aliens attempting to wrap us up in cotton candy and then drink us with a silly straw. And we at SeriouslyGuys would never advocate the wholesale and unwarranted slaughter of a people just because of what they look like. That said, clowns holding weapons are rarely people.

There are a lot of creative ways to quit your job. Sadly, many of us refuse to go through with our fantasies because we treasure the prospect of a referral. Then there are people who live out their fantasies, and end up going off the rails, so to speak.

Police say an disgruntled employee at a Wyoming coal mine did just that. According to authorities, Derek Skyler Brux worked at a rail line for a coal operation, and decided to steal a train. He challenged his boss to a game of chicken. He eventually found another train to hit while going only 10 mph, then he backed up and hit it again.

He was caught when he fled on foot after causing a lot of damage, but no injuries.