U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama has launched yet another salvo to get Americans to eat a goddamn vegetable, just one, you lazy, unfit pieces of eligible voters. But, rather than suggest something that people have tried and don’t like, she’s trying to mystify meatavores with a new vegetable. The First Lady wants you to “turn-up for a turnip.”
Yes, the turnip. That purplish thing in salads that slides neatly through fork tines and makes up 1/4 of all rats diets in Ruby Tuesday dumpsters.
And of all the vegetables, this was probably the best one for a bumper sticker slogan. Although, who’s to say that the following won’t roll out in the near future?
- “Cuss for asparagus.”
- “Hoot for taro root.”
- “Get hard for swiss chard.”
- “Something something kohlrabi.”