Sorry we missed each other last week. I was busy spending my regular-sized weekend drinking beer and whitewater rafting. Not at the same time, though. That would have meant a lot of spilled beer. Although going over the rapids drunk probably would have enhanced the fun and maybe helped me to forget how cold it was. If you were busy being named the Ebola czar this week, odds are you missed it.
Sorry, bloody sorry
This week, Bono apologized to the world for pushing U2’s newest album into the faces of every iTunes user ever. The frontman said that the band didn’t mean any harm to the people who complained about getting something for free, they just wanted to make a big entrance with the new album. Now if he would apologize for his last decade of work.
How does that even come up in an interview?
Author John Grisham found himself in hot water this week when he said he thinks that courts should go easy on guys caught causally or accidentally viewing child pornography. He cited a friend who drunkenly downloaded pictures of girls who weren’t 18 yet but was caught and labeled a sex offender. Public outcry didn’t care for his position. Grisham apologized, saying, “Yes, I believe they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!”
The ocean is broke
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio, named messenger of peace and master of the universe by the U.N., donated $2 million to the ocean this week. Big deal, that old lady donated priceless jewelry to the ocean at the end of Titanic. (Spoiler alert.)
