Day: October 27, 2014

Halloween is here, and the good news is that it’s on a Friday this time around. That means that you can go out in public wearing your costume on your way to a party and not get any more looks from strangers than usual. The bad news is that it’s on a Friday this time around. That means you have to rush home from work (this assumes you have a job), eat, then don your costume and hope to make it to your festivities on time. Basically, you’re not going to have much time for a super-involved getup.

In a situation like that, you pretty much have to half-ass a costume. You’re just not going to have time to get into really complicated costume and get your makeup on and everything. This is how a woman feels every day, the difference is you don’t have to shave your legs, too.

When you’re rushing, it’s easy to make some bad choices for costumes. Luckily, I’m here to help. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Halloween costume don’ts

A black (presumably) male was shot in Florida. Again.

We support the decision to do so.

Okay, before we get strung up by the internet, let’s explain the situation: a black bear broke into the house of a man in Lady Lake, Florida. Home invasion is a serious crime, and despite the trouble being wrought upon the man, he still offered a nonviolent approach to the situation, yelling at the bear (a repeat offender) to exit the manor as it continued to come through a window. When it was decided that the bear would persist with its belligerence, the man produced a gun and shot the mammalian invader. He then called wildlife officials to remove the bear.

Unknown man, we stand behind you.

If you’re embarrassed about your case of herpes, don’t worry. In a couple of decades, you’ll forget you ever got them. That’s because the antibodies associated with the herpes simplex virus has been linked to Alzheimer’s disease.

Two separate studies found that herpes may cause 40 to 50 percent of Alzheimer’s cases, although that could be because the people getting herpes already for got to wear a condom or not kiss people whose lips look like Krakatoa.

Paired with today’s earlier news about booze helping your memory in later years — and we all know what happens when you drink: herpes — your chances of retiring with an unimpaired brain are now a wash.

When your grandfather gets drunk at the next family gathering, lay off him, he’s improving his health.

According to a recent study, drinking alcohol later in life can help preserve memories. If you’re over 60, moderate drinking has been found to help the brain’s ability to remember specific events. However, it does not make using technology any simpler.

Start drinking today, you’ll remember to thank yourself in your golden years.