Day: November 4, 2014

The National Sleep Foundation took a break from fine-tuning their numerical mattress firmness rating system to warn people about driving while sleepy. According to their data, “more than one-third of drivers say they’ve fallen asleep on the roads, and an estimated 12 and a half percent of fatal crashes involve drowsy driving.”

So, the next time you’re driving home late at night, be sure to drink plenty of Red Bull and Vodkas first.

Oh, and maybe sign their pledge to not sleep and drive.*

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*Signing the pledge while drowsy-surfing is still binding, so Internet alertly.

Smarties, anything from Palmer’s and pennies. What do they have in common?

All are swiftly thrown asunder for the better items that make their way to people on Halloween.

Sure, kids might get chocolate coins, but this past Friday, in Maryland, adults on I-270 got real coins … and greenbacks. A bag of cash (which we can only assume had a cartoonish dollar sign on it) fell out of the back of an armored truck, sending money flying all over the road.

Pro: They were able to recover some of the money back!

Con: The amount recovered was just $200. Win some, lose some.

It’s seems almost two obvious to state: penguins are one of the greatest threats to our way of life. Their main assault is on our children, with their cuteness and dancing abilities. Now, we can spy on them like never before.

Scientists have created a fake baby penguin that the beasts will accept as their own and record everything on camera. Once it infiltrates the herd, scientists can observe the penguins without scaring them. The more we learn about them, the easier it will be to defeat them.

Right now, it’s basically just a stuffed baby penguin on wheels, but we hope it will soon be outfitted with machine guns.