Day: November 12, 2014

Take it from Snee: Sir, step away from the snake

Also: PETA says they'd rather go naked than wear fur, and I say that using models that I want to skin and wear in my next driver's licence photo is also a mixed message.
Also: PETA says they’d rather go naked than wear fur, and I say that using models that I want to skin and wear in my next driver’s licence photo is also a mixed message.

Guys, I’m about to write something weird. I want you to know that this is, in fact, Rick Snee, and I have written the next statement with a clear mind and of my own free will.

PETA is right about something.

I know. It’s completely out of character for me to ever agree with them. We disagree at even the most basic level. For instance, PETA says it’s wrong to eat meat, and I say they have “pet” and “eat” in their names, so that’s a mixed message.

But, all it took was an upcoming “documentary” from the Discovery Channel called Eaten Alive to bring us together. PETA says it’s wrong, and I actually agree. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Sir, step away from the snake

Rat infestation in NYC nothing compared to New Yorkers

"Christ almighty, it's absolutely disgusting out here. I'm never leaving the hole where me and 50 of my closest relatives sleep in our own sh*t again."
“Christ almighty, it’s absolutely disgusting out here! I’m never leaving the hole where me and 50 of my closest relatives sleep in our own sh*t again.”

Good news in the War on Animals! At least one statistician estimates that New Yorkers are the number one pest infesting New York City, not rats.

Jonathan Auerbach of Columbia University set out to test the old hypothesis that there are just as many rats as humans in New York City. Based on reported complaints and biological data about rats, he estimates that there are only 2 million rats in the Big Apple, while 8 million humans make life an absolute misery for other humans in the city.

So, either New Yorkers have always outnumbered their rats, or the rats have started abandoning the city, possibly due to how terrible the Yankees and their fans are. But a victory is a victory, so way to go, “humans.”

Tax dollars were used to troll

New Jersey has never been known for having a great reputation about … well … anything. Sure, there are some bright spots, but they’re few and far between when it comes to the state that gave us Jon Bon Jovi, the Jersey Shore and a large container for garbage.

And troll cops. Back on Halloween, an officer for the Fort Lee Police Department dressed up in a full Donald Duck costume. He proceeded to give tickets to drivers that didn’t let a six foot tall man in a Disney character costume cross a pedestrian crossing.

Meanwhile, the tax dollars of New Jersey residents were used to buy a very good Donald Duck costume. So there’s that.

Court puts gag order on puppet, master

The only time a ventriloquist has been funny.
The only time a ventriloquist has been funny.

Apparently America isn’t the only country afflicted with comedians with puppets. The difference is that other countries know how to deal with them.

In South Africa, a “comedian” and his puppet have been given a gag order to refrain talking about a musician. Conrad Koch said that he and his puppet, Chester Missing, will fight the gag order. The court gave the order because Steve Hofmeyr, a musician, said tweets Koch posted about him were hate speech, which is probably true of 95% of tweets in the first place.

Can the U.S. government petition the court for a gag order on all puppet comedians here in the states? We’re starting a Kickstarter fund to hire lawyers!