Day: November 13, 2014

Having made his name working alongside his pal Simon Pegg (mostly in projects directed by Edgar Wright), Nick Frost finally gets his own starring vehicle with Cuban Fury, a romantic comedy about a middle-aged English sad sack who takes up salsa dancing to win a woman’s heart.

Frost is a likable lead and an easy rooting interest, but his affability isn’t enough to give this silly-sweet feature the edge and dimension that would make it a memorable contribution to the subgenre epitomized by The Full Monty — comedies in which middle-aged, unassuming Brits discover their inner showman.

It’s good, just not Pegg-Frost-Wright good. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Cuban Fury’

The merde has truly hit the fan in France. Besides the fermenting whale attack on their beach, there’s also a tiger loose just outside of Disneyland Paris.

And we know this is part of a concerted attack by animals because Disneyland Paris doesn’t have a tiger. This Sher Khan is clearly a foreign traveler bent on destroying the French way of life, probably by peeing in a wine bottle or silently mauling a mime.

If we can recommend anything, it’s that the French start wearing masks on the other side of their heads. Preferably something they bought from Disney. With their tourist dollars, America’s most important European landmark should be able to turn this whole situation around.

So, a man, upset with his ex-girlfriend, proceeded to mail 15 live chicks to her. He can legally do that. Somehow. He’s being labeled as creepy, which really is a bit of overreaction. He’s not creepy, he’s simply slightly inconsiderate. The guy actually should have turned them into chicken nuggets before shipping the beasts off to her.

If anything, this proves a giant crime perpetrated among the human race. If I ship anything alcoholic, from a cheap, dollar airplane bottle of hooch to a fine scotch, no matter how safely and securely I package the bottle, I’m breaking the law and am a criminal. Meanwhile, our enemies, the animals, can be shipped all over the country, poop in their shipping box and not be labeled criminals?

Our tax dollars can pay for animal poop going around the country? That’s not right.

Summer may be long gone, but the enemy is still attacking the beaches. This time, they’ve set their sights on France, the most vulnerable ally.

A dead whale has washed ashore in France, the gasses inside bloating the carcass. We saw similar attacks earlier this year. It’s just a matter of time before those gasses are too much for the whales skin to hold, and KABOOM! French authorities are in a beat-the-clock situation, so naturally, they have no idea what to do.

NATO is about to be called in.