A few good tweets

"You need me on that wall. And on those feeds."
“You need me on that wall. And on those feeds.”

ISIS-aligned hackers breached sensitive U.S. Central Command online systems. Once in command of those vital systems, the hackers were able to issue tweets and upload videos for all to see.

OK, so they only hacked CENTCOM’s Twitter and YouTube accounts. But, we cannot stress how serious this is. CENTCOM is responsible for all active military actions in the Middle East, North Africa, and Central Asia, most notably Afghanistan and Iraq. And we know that because of CENTCOM’s Wikipedia page … unless that’s been hacked, too!

The hackers started issuing their own tweets at 12:30 on Monday, but U.S. defense officials quickly noticed and took the accounts back over. A big clue was that, not being American, the hackers failed to use “bae” to really reach CENTCOM’s 25-and-under followers.

Crocodiles surprisingly terrible at home brewing

There are many things that our enemies, the animal kingdom, are. These include:

  • At times, cunning
  • Vicious, dangerous and ruthless
  • Most of the time, delicious

One thing you won’t see on the list? Responsible homebrewers.

As it’s now been made evident, crocodiles will put their own bile into a beer, making things such as funerals become a lot sadder. This is because crocodile bile is quite poisonous to the human body. Crocodile bile is powerful enough to fell nearly 70 people if bottled into a beer.

Readers, we can only give you this special PSA: if you see a crocodile near your home brew equipment, throw bottles at the reptile until it’s dead. Then, unfortunately, toss that batch. You’ve gotta be safe.

Snowmen are a sin, Saudi cleric says

It snowed in Saudi Arabia recently. But that’s not the weird part.

A Saudi cleric warned people not to make snowmen, as it goes against Muslim teachings. The cleric said that it is against their religion to create the image of a person in artwork, and that also applies to when snow is your medium.

Meanwhile, Christians await Frosty the Snowman, who said he would return again one day.