Day: February 16, 2015

Happy Presidents’ Day, everyone. If you live on the East Coast, there’s a decent chance you were just hit or are now being hit by a snow storm. That means you’re hoping you don’t have to go outside for any reason tomorrow, and would rather just drink.

It’s the most appropriate way to celebrate Presidents’ Day, aside from visiting a president’s grave, or offering a living one sexual favors or something. So we’re going to take a step back to Feb. 20, 2012, where I talked about the drinking habits of our first three presidents.

We now join that column, already in progress. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Drink like a president

We spend millions on airport security, and things still happen. It’s no secret that there are gaps in our security, and the animals know this.

That’s probably why they snuck a scorpion on to a flight in Los Angeles. Alaska Airlines flight 567 originated in Mexico, and was about to take off at LAX bound for Oregon, when a scorpion stung a passenger. The incident cause the flight to head back to the gate so that the woman could get medical treatment.

She lived, but untold numbers of people’s days were messed up as a result. You win this time, scorpion.

India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi found himself in a situation rarely seen off the cover of a Robert E. Howard novel: staring at a statue of himself in a temple built by political followers who also kind of, you know, worship him.

Hundreds of his followers in the western city of Rajkot donated funds for a temple that features a seated statue of Modi and is topped out with a wind gauge shaped like a lotus, the symbol of his Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP).

Modi stated for the record that he was appalled and that “This is shocking and against India’s great traditions. Building such temples is not what our culture teaches us.”

“Besides,” he added, “It’s not like I’m Ronald Reagan.”

Someone at ABC13 had a field day writing the headline.

In the War Against Animals, beekeepers are an … awkward area. Yes, they do jail and imprison bees, a vile enemy of ours, but not all of them are capture-specific in their goals. Some have their own self interests in heart, using the insects solely to fill their coffers, much like a weapons dealer, while others are just weird creepy people on the internet.

That’s why we at SG don’t condemn all thieves. It’s reported that a pair of thieves stole a beehive from a Lynchburg, Virginia man recently, though the why isn’t exactly clear. Paul Tabor, the man who owned the beehive, is said to have given away honey and used it for education purposes.

When asked why someone would take the hive, [Detective] Miller says there’s monetary value in it and it could fetch hundreds of dollars.

Right guys. Suuuuure. Don’t quit your day jobs, Keystones.