MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Trip to Italy’

When The Trip debuted in 2010, it was a surprisingly endearing and authoritative hit, given the premise—two hours of watching British comedians Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon drive around eating food and doing impressions of Michael Caine. But the poster hints at the movie’s subtle profundity: Coogan gazing gloomily at the camera while Brydon laughs at the heavens, the pair looking for all the world like the inseparable Greek masks for comedy and tragedy. Coogan was the unhappy, deeply lonely Hollywood success story, while Brydon was the quietly contented family man. At the conclusion of their road trip around the finer eating establishments of northern England, Coogan returned to an empty high-rise apartment with glittering views of London, while Brydon went home to a more modest brick house and the embrace of his wife and child.

The Trip to Italy has no such conclusion, even as it reconstitutes the premise of the first film as best it can, giving Brydon and Coogan the same cushy assignment for the Observer: an all-expenses-paid driving tour of six destinations that are both visually and gastronomically jaw-dropping. Only this time, the distinctions between the two characters—exaggerated versions of their real-life selves—have blurred. Brydon, tired of the affability of his public persona, drinks and carouses on the beach with a blonde expat while Coogan, still melancholy but newly sober, reads Byron in bed and tries to Skype with his son. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Trip to Italy’

‘Til death do you f*ck

"Got any plans after Jeopardy?"
“Got any plans after Jeopardy?”

Take a look at yourself. You’re not getting any younger. From this point on, this is most likely the best you will look for the rest of your life, and it’s the same tomorrow and the day after, just with incrementally diminishing results.

In short, with each and every passing day, fewer people want to have sex with you. Yep, the sex train has left the station, and you’re sitting with your bags in Hoboken.

But, when all is said and done, there’s one person who will take the bus to Poundtown with you, so long as you make the 50-year anniversary: your spouse. After all, who else is gonna do that (read: wrinkled you) when you’re 70 – 85 years old?

We’re probably not getting rid of those Mars One people

Mars One, the nonprofit effort to send people to colonize Mars in 2020, has whittled it down its list of potential candidates to 100. It’s like a competition show, with 100 people competing for four spots, but mercifully there’s no singing or celebrity judges. On top of that, there’s a chance one of the people selected for the one-way trip will be someone you really hate. You’d never have to see them again. Ever.

Hold on, folks. Before you wish them a terrible life in space, you should know that the project probably won’t get off the ground. Mars One needs to raise at least $6 billion. That’s quite a bit more money than your average Kickstarter dreamer looks for when he over-promises, and not even NASA can stick to its original budget.

We may be stuck with these people longer than we want to.