Day: March 6, 2015

Sunday marks the beginning of Daylight Saving Time. Seems like it’s a little early this year, doesn’t it? I checked, and apparently it’s this time every year. But, like, winter’s not over. It hasn’t warmed up yet. It’s still snowing on the East Coast. How the hell are we supposed to set our clocks ahead so that we can have more daylight for farming? Seems like waiting for the ground to thaw would be prudent. If you were busy telling people off for making creepy comments about your daughter on Twitter this week, odds are you missed it.

Harrison Ford survives crash worthy of Harrison Ford
Actor Harrison Ford, 71, was injured on Thursday when he crashed his World War II training plane in California. The single-engine plane apparently had problems shortly after takeoff, and Ford tried to return to the landing strip. Doctors say the actor sustained a cut to his face, and broke his pelvis and ankle. He was praised for taking it down on a golf course, saving lives by missing homes nearby. But folks, he may have just saved us all from a Blade Runner sequel sure to tarnish the original.

Private secretary
This week, it was reported that while serving as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton used her personal email account for to conduct official business. The concern here is that the federal government doesn’t have control over her personal email address, so it can’t vouch for the security of those communications. She has since trotted out the campaign slogan, “Hillary 2016: I Only Use SnapChat Now.”

B like Mike
Forbes magazine this week published its annual list of billionaires, with Michael Jordan as the newest addition, even though it seems like he should’ve been on that list decades ago. Upon hearing the news, the few Atlantic City casinos still open issued Jordan a hearty congratulations and invited him to stay any time.

M.A.N.T.I.S. The Lawnmower Man. Oracle. Wiz Kid. For decades, Hollywood and comic books have told us that no matter how disabled you might think you are, you can take on the world.

And now, science and the government have allowed Jan Scheuermann to nearly do that very thing! Normally, pairing up science and the government doesn’t end well … ever, but for the quadriplegic woman, it was a-okay. Via a DARPA program, Scheuermann was able to fly an F-35 fighter jet in a simulator using just her eyes. Considering the closest I’ve gotten to doing that was playing Afterburner II on the Sega Genesis and that consisted of me crashing into the ocean within moments of lifting off, that’s pretty impressive.

What’s also impressive? The robotic hand in the picture seemingly feeding Scheuermann chocolate. I want one for Christmas.

Hey, remember that beer that was probably the oldest ever found? The one from the shipwreck in the Baltic? Scientists now have a better idea of what it tasted like.

Since you probably don’t have the cash to spend on a brewery’s re-creation of the brew, it’s imagination time. Using chemical analysis and other techniques, researchers found that it was an amber ale, and it had an ABV of about 4.5%, which isn’t really the strength you’d think would be imported from a faraway land. Because the bacteria was still alive inside the bottle, scientists were even able to tell what kind of hops were used, but probably knew better than to list it, so they didn’t come off as beer snobs.

Just grab something barrel-aged for this weekend. It will cost you less, and it will still be a trip back in time.

For some reason, married couples are more likely to divorce when the wife gets sick. Researchers at Iowa State University and Purdue found that marriages ended 6% more often after the wife contracted a serious illness than when the husband does. They did not, however, figure out why or who does the leaving (besides Newt Gingrich and John Edwards).

In unrelated news, the manufacturers of Airborne, green tea and orange juice are reporting higher than average sales — for the first time outpacing issues of Cosmo.