You Missed It: Secret society edition

A bunch of white people in formal attire shouting bigotry. A little on-the-nose, don't you think, guys?
A bunch of white people in formal attire shouting bigotry. A little on-the-nose, don’t you think, guys?

So they’re working on a Zoolander 2. I guess that’s not a terrible thing, but I don’t get the excitement around it. Admittedly, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first one, “really dumb lead character does really dumb things” movies have never really done it for me, and I know I’m in the minority. What I don’t get isn’t the appeal of the first movie, it’s the appeal of a sequel coming out 15 years after the first. Fifteen! The movie is so old that we were watching TV ads for it before 9/11. Stop and think about how long ago that was. I hate to see something like this happen, because it’s a sure sign Ben Stiller is out of ideas. If you were busy quitting your new fashion humor show this week, odds are you missed it.

Left to chants
This week, a chapter of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University in Oklahoma got in trouble when a video of the group’s brothers doing a racist chant surfaced. The school kicked the frat out, and expelled at least two students in the video. But don’t worry, they were offered jobs with the Ferguson Police Department.

Giuliani hasn’t been keeping up with headlines lately
Former New York City Mayor and Guy Who’s Totally Not Running for President Rudy Giuliani has some advice for President Barack Obama. He said Obama should, and this is true, be more like Bill Cosby. You can find this insight and more in Giuliani’s new book, Date Rape Diplomacy.

Scientists still trying to figure out what they’re lacking
A new study has found that people look for someone they can have fun with when they are selecting a partner for a relationship. There you have it, if you’re alone, it’s because everyone thinks you’re no fun to be around.

Sabotage in the candy world!

Trouble is afoot and its name is Red Vines!

Hitting barriers appears to be all the rage, and a tractor-trailer driver, seemingly doing his constitutional duty, struck one on a Pennsylvania highway. A little before midnight on Wednesday night, Twizzlers upon Twizzlers spilled onto the road, a sea of red licorice and addiction from end to end.

While I’m not outright accusing the American Licorice Company of causing the accident, I am heavily implying it.