Drink yourself sexy

If you’ve had a couple in today’s revelry, you may be the most attractive person in the bar, according to a new study.

Researchers found that if a person has a glass or two of wine, their image is more attractive to other people than if they were sober. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean double-fisting makes you sexy, it means that subtle changes in your appearance after a drink or two (read: a smile) makes you more attractive. Another downside is that if you’ve had more than a couple drinks, your attractiveness goes down.

No research has been done on whether it goes back up again after 8 or 9 drinks. So, let’s just assume for now it really does help.

Las Vegas now employs leprechauns in police force, because why not?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Over on the West Coast, in the vaunted city known as Las Vegas, the St. Patrick’s Day parade was already held on Friday. For non-residents, this might have been odd to witness. Couple that with the excessive amounts of drinks that can easily be consumed, multiplied by the unusually early amounts of green being displayed, then taken to an exponential power due to the extraordinary heat that can be found in Vegas, and people probably saw leprechauns.

Which they did. Right beside the police marching in the parade.

The police force employed individuals to dress up as the munchkin people in order to enforce driving laws. Drunk people, now seeing leprechauns, what were normally their friends, now teaming up with their enemies, the police, had to be massively confusing.

Improve coffee first, *then* tackle race relations

And to really get the racism discussion rolling, be sure to tell your barista that your name is either "Niger," "Ching," "Slone" or "Horky."
And to really get the racism discussion rolling, tell your barista that your name is either “Niger,” “Ching,” “Slone” or “Horky.”

As the world celebrates St. Patrick’s Day, The Guys would like to take a moment to reflect on race for a moment. So, put your drinks down for a moment, you Irish bugs, because enlightenment is on its way.

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has a dream: that one day, people of all races, will be judged by the content of their overpriced coffee and not by the color of their skin. Or, at the very least, by the phrase scrawled on the surface of said cup.

That’s why he’s required that all baristas to write “Race Together” on every cup they serve and, if anybody asks, explain the importance of compassion and empathy to improve race relations in America.

It’s almost the least he could do, other than just start #RaceTogether on Twitter and Instagram.