Day: March 18, 2015

A couple in Belleville, Mich., were surprised to discover that their daughter was unexpectedly upgraded to a son. They discovered the phantom penis shortly after America’s newest more likely CEO, senator, president, astronaut or just higher paid professional was removed from the mother during C-section.

The best part was that, realizing that they had planned to name their son a girl’s name, Charlee, they quickly recovered by naming him Charlie Bentley?

Oh, right. Because he’s more likely to drive one.

“Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory.”

The Sith Lord was found at a Pineville bank, holding it up (warning: autoplay). One can presume that he might have been looking for the Millennium Falcon, but let’s be honest, the Death Star isn’t going to pay for itself. Don’t believe me?

“Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!”

Snakes are bad, but the Australians are showing us how to neutralize threats and enjoy a buzz at the same time.

It seems that Australian snakes have a powerful thirst, so the locals leave empty beer cans out. The snakes get their heads stuck in the cans, and just like that, you don’t need to worry about the snake biting you or your family.

To set up these snake traps here in the U.S. simply:

1. Empty a beer can.
2. Throw it in your yard.
3. Wait.