It’s the tried-and-true formula of one last job/heist/assignment. A longtime bad guy leaves the life of crime in pursuit of peace and quiet, but naturally gets dragged back to his old haunts and habits to settle a final score. But John Wick breathes exhilarating life into this tired premise, thanks to some dazzling action choreography, stylish visuals and–most importantly–a vintage anti-hero performance from Keanu Reeves. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘John Wick’
Day: March 26, 2015
Out of the poop, into the poop
If you’ve ever found yourself stranded on the Jefferson Memorial side of the Tidal Basin, where there’s only bike paths and 395 and you don’t have the strength to continue back to the Mall, then you’ve probably noticed all the greenish power bars along the water front.
Do not eat these, for they are goose poop, and besides being gross, they can — in large enough amounts — infect the very air you breathe with histoplasmosis and other diseases.
Fortunately, the U.S. National Park Service has at least one idea for reducing the geese’s three-pound a day constitutional: bringing in border collies to scare them off, Babe in the Capitol City-style.
And the best part of this idea? Dogs don’t poop.
My enemy, my support
The war against animals is not an easy one, but there are ways around it to change that. Take for example a situation in Natchitoches, Louisiana. A tractor trailer had pulled over on a road, but due to recent rains, it was close to tipping over.
Close, but it didn’t. Why? Because it employed its cargo, a crew of elephants.
The three elephants were seen keeping the truck upright until a wrecker came to the scene. Perhaps we should employ elephants as our new tow trucks. They’re just as strong and certainly smell better.
Science plans to kill us all with wooly mammoths
For nearly as long as this blog has existed, we’ve warned against cloning wooly mammoths. Now it seems that our worst fears are closer than ever to becoming a reality.
Harvard geneticist George Church, sworn enemy to all humanity, has basically spliced enough wooly mammoth DNA, filled in with a little modern Asian elephant DNA where needed, dropped it into Asian elephant skin cells, and BAM. We now live in a world where functional mammoth DNA exists.
Not surprisingly, Church has openly admitted to wanting to one day bring back the wooly mammoth, under the guise of allowing Asian elephants to tolerate colder climates. This madness must be stopped!