Day: March 27, 2015

It’s tough to get a handle on Will Ferrell. He’s done some great work, and he’s a diverse comic. But when he makes a terrible movie, he really goes all the way. He’ll make stinkers like Land of the Lost, then do some beer ads that go viral, so you really can’t hate him. But good god does Get Hard look bad. Then again, that probably means the next thing he does will be great. If you were busy quitting a boy band this week, odds are you missed it.

TV time warp
It’s been a big week for 90s shows. Fox announced that The X-Files, complete with the creator Chris Carter and stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, will return for six episodes this summer, and ABC ordered a new season of the old NBC show Coach. ABC is reportedly betting that the football fans who watched the show have so much brain damage they don’t remember the original run.

Ted Cruz, physicist
During a speech this week, presidential candidate Ted Cruz compared himself to Galileo. Cruz said that his skepticism of climate change are not unlike Galileo, who believed in the then controversial theory that the Earth and other planets orbited the sun. Cruz added that he’s like Galileo, because the Italian physicist recanted his theory under pressure from the Catholic Church, and we now know today that heliocentrism is nothing but a conspiracy among the scientific community to bilk funding money from the federal government.

Don Draper dries out
It was announced this week that Jon Hamm, who plays the hard-drinking and womanizing Don Draper on Mad Men, recently completed a 30-day stint in rehab for alcohol abuse. So I guess he’s not a method actor, after all.

Animals aren’t just after our lives, our societies, and our way of life. They’re after our marriages.

In Saudi Arabia, a camel has caused a man to divorce his wife. It’s not what you’re thinking. According to report, the husband got tired of playing second fiddle for his wife’s affections. His competitor: a camel. The woman’s affection for her father’s camel was so irksome to the man that he announced he was divorcing her.

We need to defend marriage, now.

Are you drunk? Do you have a hangover? Are you staying in the Panama City Beach Holiday Inn? Is it Spring Break for you?

Well, hopefully, you’ve gotten to the 10 am brunch because, if you’re still asleep, prepare to wake up to the soothing sounds of Elton John crooning about lions getting busy.

Brunch has never been more important.

An all natural, organic kitty litter brand is behind one of the most high-profile nuclear contamination releases in recent history, according to a report by the Department of Energy.

It’s a standard practice to absorb nuclear waste with kitty litter. However, in February 2014, a barrel of waste exploded at a federal waste facility, and it’s because some organic freak at Los Alamos National Laboratory switched out the normal clay stuff for the wheat-based Swheat Scoop, which was incompatible with the contents of the barrel.

So, remember: organic is good for you, except when it isn’t.