Day: April 27, 2015

With the weather continuing to warm, we’re seeing a rise in animal attacks. It’s only natural that our sworn enemies would start a new offensive as they wake up after the long winter. But not every animal hibernates the way bugs, bears and such do.

What’s worse is that we seem to be letting them get away with it. We allow these beasts to probe and exploit our weaknesses. They are using our compassion, our reason, and our sense of justice against us. Don’t believe me?

How about that a chimp is now considered a person in the eyes of the law? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Our enemies are becoming human

Feelings are tricky. When first experienced, they overwhelm to the point that you’ll honestly believe that you will never feel differently again, especially when it comes to loss and grieving. And then, poof, one day, you don’t feel as bad. And finally, after enough time, you feel a little silly explaining that memorial tattoo of your first cat to any new employers. It’s enough to make anyone feel a little guilty, like maybe our love wasn’t all strong that strong to begin with.

Well, if you can’t maintain the intensity of raw emotion for your lost loved ones, you can at least re-stimulate it for 3 to 15 minutes at a time, depending on your stamina and time between meetings at work. It’s all thanks to Mark Sturkenboom, who is the only man with the exact right name to create a dildo with people’s cremated ashes inside.

So, your loved ones aren’t really gone, not so long as they’re still inside of you.

Smartwatches have been around for a few years, but now that Apple makes one, people are starting to care. Unfortunately, the only thing that would make them worth owning is already being banned.

Apple is using its iron fist to block any and all smartwatch fart apps from being sold on the App Store. The company has blocked Fart Watch, which would have made a fart sound on your iPhone when you press a button on your watch. But Apple fans will never know that joy, because of the hard line their master is taking against fart apps.