Hi guys, so I won’t be doing this next week, because it’s the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, and I think we all know that you won’t be reading. Like you, I’ve got plans for the long weekend, and they involve driving long distances and probably sitting in a decent amount of traffic both getting there and coming back. Maybe if there’s a huge backup we can all get out of our cars and have an impromptu picnic like people do. I’ve always wanted to be in one of those. If you were busy falling off the stage during your band’s first gig of the tour this week, odds are you missed it.
Channing Tatum in: White House Drone
This week, Secret Service agents detained a man who they said was flying a drone near the White House, less than a day after the FAA declared Washington, D.C. a “no drone zone.” The man was released and given back his drone after he informed authorities that it was “opposite day.”
Toodaloo, neighbor-eeno
Voice actor Harry Shearer announced that after some 25 years, he is leaving The Simpsons. He voiced dozens of characters on the show, including Ned Flanders and C. Montgomery Burns. The announcement prompted the internet to simultaneously state that it hasn’t watched that show in years, while hoping that new actors are hired so that the show doesn’t go off the air.
Aussies value the safety of their sheep
The Australian government threatened to put down Johnny Depp’s dogs this week. The actor is in the country filming the next Pirates of the Caribbean film, and brought his two Yorkshire terriers, Pistol and Boo, in violation of the country’s quarantine laws. Luckily, Depp had them flown back to the U.S. before the Aussies destroyed them. Australia should be more concerned with the public health risk Depp himself presents. Mordecai, The Lone Ranger, Dark Shadows and The Tourist? That man is box office poison.