We already knew that PETA was an insidious threat to humanity. We just didn’t realize how far their attempts to undermine the War on Animals goes. While, yes, not eating meat means fewer animals die, it also might mean the end of our species, just like the giant panda.
For whatever reason (it was probably to impress a girl), pandas stopped eating meat 2 million years ago. In all that time, however, they never really adapted biologically to a nearly all-bamboo diet. They still lack the multi-chambered, complex digestive tract and gut bacteria to get enough nutrients from greens.
Researchers now believe that it is this lack of nutritional energy that causes pandas lackluster sex drives and general lethargy. They have to eat all day and still need 12 hours of sleep. And now they’re almost all gone.
Make no mistake: this is what vegetarians want. Be a proud animal warrior and eat a damn steak. And then mate! MATE, with your beefy breath!