‘Divorce’: Australian for ‘sanctity of marriage’

Sometimes, the only way to fight a perceived injustice is to make your kids' future legal lives a nightmare through arbitrary, politically-motivated divorce.
Sometimes, the only way to fight a perceived injustice is to make your kids’ future legal lives a nightmare through arbitrary, politically motivated divorce.

It finally happened: gay marriage has finally destroyed a straight marriage. More specifically, by making one straight couple act irrationally in the name of making a spectacle of themselves.

Nick and Sarah Jensen of Australia have vowed to file for divorce if their government legalizes gay marriage. The Australian Parliament is about to vote on a legalization bill, but Prime Minister Tony Abbott is not in favor of it.

The couple says that, should the measure pass, will “refuse to recognize the government’s regulation of marriage if its definition includes the solemnization of same sex couples.” Basically, if gays can marry, they don’t want any part of it anymore.

Of course, should the gays force the Jensens to legally divorce, they will continue to live together (in sin) and refer to each other as husband and wife. It won’t be that gay marriage with loud music, wine, dancing and sex, though. Just very unsatisfying, somehow political straight marriage.

Sounds like love to us.

Booze may do what medicine cannot

Once again, science may have found that alcohol is good for your health. This time, it’s mead.

Mead is a fermented drink mostly made from honey. It was all the rage with everyone from the Vikings to the Greeks back in the day. Now, researchers in Sweden are investigating whether mead’s mystical powers can kill harmful bacteria in you, all while getting you sloppy.

They have found that lactic acid bacteria found in bees’ honey stomachs can help kill off antibiotic-resistant bugs, so it’s possible that those magical properties have transferred to mead from the honey it comes from.