Police in Colorado Springs, Colorado, arrested a bear cub caught with her head in a bottle of protein powder. The officers found her bro-ing out before dawn, which is a great time to work in cardio — like running from the police.
We salute the Colorado Springs Police Department for quickly recognizing the threat of ripped bears and stopping them before leg day. Left unchecked, those bears could have developed into muscle daddies, blurring carefully maintained niches in the gay forest egosystem.
The cub is now free of the tub and was left sedated in the woods to find her mother again, which should put a dent in her ain’t-no-DNB body.