Fun Fact: FBI wiretapping costs more than beer

"Dear Craigslist ... Wanted: somebody who knows how to circumnavigate the supreme laws of the land in bed ... Could be a sixer of Schlitz in it for you."
“Dear Craigslist … Wanted: somebody who knows how to circumnavigate the supreme laws of the land in bed … Could be a sixer of Schlitz in it for you … Smiley face … Winking face.”

Apparently, it costs more than a couple of cases of beer to get the FBI to go through family members’ texts. At least, that’s what a judge in North Carolina learned after being charged with attempted bribery.

According to the FBI, Superior Court Judge Arnold Ogden Jones was charged with attempted bribery after allegedly offering an agent a couple of cases — y’know, like buddies — if the agent would ignore a lack of probable cause and obtain some text messages for “just for [him].” And who hasn’t asked their neighbor or coworker for that? Violating the U.S. Constitution is just one of those things good friends do, like loan a cup of sugar without habeas corpus or quarter some troops, no questions asked.

Of course, then things got weird because the agent reportedly turned down the beer(!) and asked for $100 instead. Jones should’ve known something was up, because nobody turns down free beer. I mean, cash is nice, but you can’t drink it and, believe us, it doesn’t get you high when you smoke it.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?