Literally the least any restaurant can do

"Mmmmm, cereal! I'm so glad we decided to from the chutes here instead of at the Lego store."
“Mmmmm, cereal! I’m so glad we decided to from the chutes here instead of at the Lego store.”

If there’s one way to tell someone is just barely capable of taking care of themselves as an adult, it’s whether they consider cereal an actual meal all to itself. Well, Kellogg’s is no adult, then.

The company that dares to call everything from Corn Flakes to Cocoa Krispies “part of a complete breakfast” is opening a restaurant on Times Square in New York City. As Starbucks does with coffee, Kellogg’s will sell single bowls of cereal for twice the cost of an entire 24-ounce box of Rice Krispies — with a couple of hipster chefs adding kale or some other bullsh*t to justify not opening and pouring your own breakfast like a sort-of adult.

While we anticipate that hotels on Times Square will frown on direct competition with their own pathetic “continental breakfast” options, at least there will be a close-by resource of absorbent milk litter to pour over and soak up Guy Fieri-induced vomiting and diarrhea before it enters Manhattan’s water supply.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?