Take it from Snee: Out of options, Republicans turn to ‘Doctor Who’

"Don't you think she looks tired?" said two men who are both older than Hillary Clinton and look it despite what look like multiple cosmetic surgeries.
“Don’t you think she looks tired?” said two men who are both older than Hillary Clinton and look it despite multiple cosmetic treatments.

In the past several years of covering presidential elections — and some mid-terms because, contrary to what the Greens and Libertarians think, we elect people every year to leadership positions besides President — The Guys have seen various disclosure trends. If someone’s running against a millionaire, they push to release tax returns. If running against a black person who may have been born in Kenya, they push to release birth certificates, college grades and possibly even drug tests.

And now, if running against a woman who’s almost a year younger than them, they push to release health records

For the past several months of the general election, Republican-nominee Donald Trump has run more against himself than against his opponent, Democrat-nominee Hillary Clinton. He’s had to soften his stance on whether most Mexicans are rapists, and now he’s mulling over if he should find out before deporting them all.

Ben Carson fell harder than Cuba Gooding, Jr. did for making Boat Trip.
Ben Carson fell harder than Cuba Gooding, Jr. — the actor who played him in his biopic — did for making Boat Trip.

But, now he’s getting advice from people who really know how to win a presidential election: Ben Carson, who managed to piss away all the respect that comes from being a neurosurgeon, and Rudy Giuliani, who was once really called “America’s Mayor” and probably made even Osama Bin Ladin uncomfortable with how often he used 9/11 as a political talking point.

So, of all the possible attacks they could make against Clinton — these are people who believe that she and her husband killed at least one guy, maybe even 50 people — what do they try? The “Don’t You Think She Looks Tired?” attack, which fans of Doctor Who may recall as how David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor ruined a woman’s run for Prime Minister.

Congratulations, Team Donald. You found an even flimsier attack than email. And, even worse, you managed to make nerds like myself think you look like dorks.

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Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?