We’re here folks, it’s down to this, we’ve made it down to the final weeks and we have two choices, and they both suck. Congratulations, America, either Cleveland or Chicago will win the World Series, and neither of their insufferable fan bases will let us hear the end of it when they do.
Under normal circumstances, having either of these teams win wouldn’t be as much of an issue, but these are troubled times, folks, and there’s an unprecedented level of douche we will have to suffer.
First off, let’s talk about Cleveland, the city that God forgot. Cleveland is not a tortured city, because your teams have to come close to winning a title before you can be lumped into that category. But Ohio now has this weird line of thinking that because LeBron James carried the Cavaliers to the NBA title, that somehow that was going to carry over to the Browns, and that it was the reason for the Indians success this year.
If you believe that there’s a carryover from different sports within a city, that is exactly the line of thinking that means you don’t deserve a championship.
Which brings us to the Cubs. Any other year, Chicago winning wouldn’t have been an issue. This year’s particular brood has the insufferable Joe Madden leading the way. He alone, and those unnecessary emo glasses are enough to make you hate a team enough to hope they never win.
Madden leading the charge is only part of it, after last year’s squad made it to the NLCS, Cub fans have been talking as if they were entitled to a championship this year. As a Red Sox fan, believe me, 2004 felt like a really bad hangover before it got good. No one I knew, and I know a lot of Boston fans, felt like after 2003 “hey, this is the year!”
A fan base acting like it’s won something before they have is the worst of all. “American Pie” taught us that you don’t score until you score, sorry, Chicago, but you haven’t scored.
Chicago hasn’t won.
Cleveland hasn’t won.
And after this is all said and done, we all lose.