Bacon scare over before it started

Don’t believe everything you read on the web. We have more than “some pig.”

Your reaction to the term “fake news” may vary, depending on your political orientation and how big of a role fake news plays in maintaining those positions. But, The Guys believe that we’ve discovered a unifying reason why we should all take it seriously: a PR stunt by the Ohio Pork Council nearly lead to a bacon panic. (And it still might based on how fake news travels in wider circles than refutations of it.)

The council used a USDA report on the state of our nation’s frozen pork belly inventory — it remains strong, but the surplus is running lower than usual — to launch baconshortage.com, which explains how we’re not running out of bacon. This caused news sources, including USA Today, NBC, CBS, Men’s Health and Business Insider, to run the story that we are facing a bacon shortage, time for everyone to start writing eulogies to the BLT and investigate human-based alternatives to pig strips.

(It’s notable that the only source to not pull the story in that list is Business Insider, which is basically a blog-hosting service with a newsy-sounding name. You know, like the International Business TimesHuffington Post or Brietbart. Read and share critically, friends.)

So, to make this clear to everyone: the state of our bacon supply remains strong. We are maintaining a surplus, one that is albeit smaller than ever in the past 50 years, but that’s still more bacon than we could responsibly eat in a year. Even if we all stepped up and ate more, we’d die sooner, leaving the same bacon reserve for our greasy heirs.

We are producing more hogs than ever, so please, if you were planning a bacon riot (which is what we plan to name our next stroke), call it off.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of "moron," some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and -- on one occasion -- a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven't heard of it). Really, he's just one of The Guys, y'know?

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