Eat My Sports: Learn From The Mistakes of Others

Like many of you, I am freaking sick about hearing about how the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years in the Fall. The thing that made this particular brand of “oh Jesus, would you please just shut up” special was that due to social media, anyone who has ever even set foot in Chicago was a Cubs fan, and you were going to hear about it. You were going to see their brand new Cubs hat, which hasn’t been worn since November now, you were going to hear “RAISE THE W” from your relative who has never watched an inning of baseball in their life, all of this was going to ruin the Cubs.

Except, they had recent history to learn from. As a Red Sox fan, I know how much people have hated us since 2004. The minute that final out was recorded and 8 billion people wrote books about it (books, remember those?), we were screwed.

The Cubs played it well at first, but then, they played strippers on SNL, bad move. Even Jason Varitek, who was on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cringed at the shameless self-plugging.

Still, the Cubs played things well. All they had to do was not treat the following season like a victory tour, or do something awful like promote new pink hats, and they were ok.

Now, we are here, and they are shooting themselves in the foot. David Ross, fresh off making America say “who the heck is David Ross” then say “DAVID ROSS YOU DESERVE THIS FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!” is on Dancing With the Stars, furthermore, his first dance was in a bedazzled Cubs uniform.

Red Sox Rob Lowe is shaking his head and saying “don’t be this version of me.” And from one who knows my own history, agree with him.