Bad dog edits scientific journals

You shouldn’t trust science — not because it doesn’t line up with your religion, politics or financial interests — but because the entire field has been corrupted by animals.

Don’t believe us? One Australian dog sits on the editorial board of seven different medical journals. To make matters worse, he’s a pit bull, a breed that takes its name from a Florida rapper who has been involved with some of the worst music in modern history. Ollie the dog goes by Dr. Olivia Doll in her written work.

The so-called media will have you believe that this was all a plot by Ollie’s owner, a public health researcher named Mike Daube, to show how some scientific journals don’t thoroughly vet (heh) their experts. But we know that this dog, which may be one of the smartest dogs ever to exist, has done this on her own, with the assistance of the human she keeps around, to misguide mankind.

It’s entirely reasonable to believe that she’s not the only infiltrator.

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