The sea lion uprising has begun

Vicious killers.

There’s panic in the streets of San Francisco, a city of normally-calm tech bros and Full House tourists. The chaos is coming from the water, and no swimmer is safe.

Sea lions are on the rampage, according to the National Parks Service. It’s gotten so bad that one popular swimming area had to be closed. Three swimmers have been attacked by sea lions in a single week. And no one can recall a single attack happening ever before.

It seems obvious that these monsters are rising up in a bid to overthrow humanity, as we knew they one day would.

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